faknows.
the receipts don't lie

Your group chat already knows who was right.

Ever wondered who'd actually know the answer to that? Fu*k knows — so we built it. In this case, Faknows who's at fault.

Stop arguing about it. Upload the chat and let it tell you — Faknows reads every message and hands you a free, brutal, quote-backed verdict card in under a minute.

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Drop your .txt or .zip export here
or click to choose a file — a straight-off-the-phone export .zip works too
Free · No signup · Under a minute
Works with WhatsApp and iMessage — upload the .txt, or the .zip straight off your phone
🔒 No chat is ever stored — analyzed in memory, deleted the moment your report is generated.
or see a sample report first →

This is what you get. Free.

A real report, on a fictional chat — the exact format yours ships in. This sample is fabricated, not a real user's chat.

Sample Faknows report card: 'Two Best Friends, One Unpaid Therapist' — a fictional demo report
fictional demo — not a real chat

Title = the verdict, up front. No burying the lede — the headline is the take.

A balance score, not a vibe. Who initiated, who carried it, who showed up only in emergencies — quantified.

Every pattern comes with a quote. No callout without a verbatim line from the actual chat as evidence.

A verdict that picks a side. Framed as opinion and entertainment — never a diagnosis — but it doesn't both-sides it.

Get my free report

How it works

Three steps. No account, no chat left behind.

STEP 1

Upload the export

Export your WhatsApp or iMessage thread — a .txt or the .zip straight off your phone — and upload it. That's the entire input.

STEP 2

We read every message

Every line, in order — who initiated, who carried it, who apologized, who ghosted. Processed in memory, never written to disk.

STEP 3

Get your free verdict card

A balance score, named psychological patterns backed by your own quotes, and a verdict that picks a side — free, rendered as a card built to send straight back to the chat.

No chat is ever stored. Full stop.

Uploaded chats are some of the most sensitive data there is — breakups, fights, the private words of people who never signed up for this. So the architecture is built around one rule: nothing survives the report.

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Ephemeral processing

Your export is held in memory for the duration of analysis only — never written to a database, never persisted to disk.

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Deleted the moment your report renders

Once your PNG card is generated, the source chat is discarded. There is nothing left to leak, breach, or subpoena.

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No training on your data

Your messages are never used to train or fine-tune any model. What you upload is used once, for you, and then it's gone.

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Opinion, not diagnosis

Every verdict is entertainment-framed. Faknows isn't a therapist and doesn't claim to be one — it's a read of the text, not a clinical judgment.